A lovely young Princess of the M galaxy named Cortney decided to transfer to a magical place called G building. She then decided to take over the office by assuming command and control of the front desk.
A young Jedi named Prof Art, came in to work and saw the new addition to the team.
Art unquestionably came to the conclusion that she is beautiful and uber hot!
His work day became more exciting.
#gorgeous #ginger #princess
Art finally gathered up the courage to say hi and ask her out for a night of fun and bowling on the planet Palasad. Even though you can't spell Palasad with out the word sad, it should be fun!
She agreed! All seemed to have gone great, and he thought she had fun that night. Then he waited for her to send intergalactic communications to him again, hoping they could have another date.
Two dark years went by... and she still wasn't having his shit.
The facial expression she posted on the intergalactic instagram bulletin board said it all.
#failed #notinterested
Art was so heart broken, he went home that evening after a long 1 hour hard day's work at the office and ate frozen pizza for dinner.
Later that night, he cried himself to sleep.
#fetalposition #crying
Jedi Art came up with an idea. He would use the force to ask her out for some lunch.
She did say she likes to eat healthy so the options on the death star were plentiful. However, given that the young Jedi is indecisive, this would not be an easy task. Some serious thought and mental calculations were required. This is not something Jedi Art could just come up with at a moment's notice.
He thought about it for days, months, and even years. He constructed Excel spreadsheets, drew charts, solved Calculus equations resolving Einstein's questions regarding the spooky action at a distance theory, yet nothing seemed to make sense.
Master Yoda was on vacation...
#struggle #dedication #thisistheway
At first, this seemed like it should be straight forward. You simply go into the office and see if the most gorgeous Princess in the galaxy is interested in having lunch with a peasant Jedi Prof like you...
But once Art approached the front doors of G3001, he got super nervous. Cortney had a very intimidating look on her face. It looked like she wanted to cut somebody.
She probably just needed some caffeine.
Then at lunch time, Art used the force and asked her if she wanted to substitute her very healthy whole grain english muffin for a trip to Harvey's and grab some Poutine.
She launched the english muffin into the bin as if it was a 110 a mile slapshot taken by a Maple Leafs player into the back of a Boston Bruins net!#iwillcutyou #eatinghealthy #bruinssuck
Art was busy trying to come up with another moment of brilliance and it came to him. Using the force, he invoked Jabba the hutt's thoughts and it clearly showed that it should be Tacos!!!
This was a final and desperate attempt against the dark side and the hatred that was dwelling inside her. If she didn't like tacos, it was clearly not meant to be... So he invited her over to his place for tacos. Nobody says NO to tacos, right?
She tentatively accepted. But first, some mean looking dude who was the Dark Lord named Kilo would have to okay it...
#eureka #tacos #kdogg #darklord
Seems like the idea paid off, because she said yes and came over for tacos. This was Art's opportunity to show off his Mexican cuisine cooking skills and make some outstanding tacos. He managed not to burn the house down and made some tasty tacos. She seemed to have enjoyed them.
So he asked her if she wanted to make out.
She said yes...
#bestpickupline #winning
